I know it’s stupid, but I feel good when I see someone who is at my age. It just makes me happy, of course until I see how much he/she accomplished in his/her life and I’m exactly where I was 10 years ago. Then I get all sad and depressed. :-D
God: Less fucking here, more fucking after.
Theists: Fuck yeah!
Satanists: Fuck no!
Atheists: What the fuck?!
Agnostics: To fuck or not to fuck!
Deists: Fucking asshole! Where were you when I was growing up?
Buddhist: Who the f*** are you?
There was this test that my students took. One of them answered one of the questions like this:
Question: «What is a knife made of?»
Answer: «I made of kite.»
P.S. On moments like this, I feel that I’m not a good teacher and I failed my students.
A person was sitting on his chair and watching a movie on his laptop. There was a cockroach on the furthest corner of the wall. He was annoyed by its present, but he didn’t want to stand up, go to there and kill it. Therefore, he decided to shoot his tongue and catch the cockroach. So he did it and then he ate it.
Doctor Who (2005-2015…) – Season 8, Episode 8: Mummy on the Orient Express
«On Sundays, Tracy whack with her family.»
There was this listening part in an exam and one of the questions was: «On Sundays, Tracy ……… with her family.» One of my students answered like that. :lol:
P.S I know he meant wake, which is not the correct answer anyway.
Today a dragonfly died. He was stuck in my room for whole night. In the morning, I took him out of my room and tried to set him free, but he died just before I could do it. He died in my hand and it made me sad. I wonder how I feel if a kid from Palestine, Iraq or any other part of the world die in my hands. I wonder how their parents feel when they see that life goes out of their kid’s body. No, I can’t even imaging how it feels. Sometimes it sucks to be human!
ینی تو فرانسوی میخوای بنویسی 99 یه صفحه کاغذ پر میشه. :D حالا یه صفحه که بزرگنمایی هست اما خداییش quatre-vingt-dix-neuf خیلیه واسه نود و نه. بعد من نابود بشم اگه تونستین دو کلمه ی شبیه هم تو این نود و نه پیدا کنی. حالا چرا؟ به خاطر اینکه این عزیزانِ برابر واسه نوشتن نود و نه، مینویسن «چهار بیست ده نه»، یه کلاس ریاضی تشکبل میدن تا یه عدد درست کنن، یعنی تا این حد!
Qasim: We Zoroastrians leave our bodies to the vultures. They cleanse our souls of earthly remains.
Rob: What about resurrection?
Qasuim: Muslims, Jews, Christians, doubt the immortality of the soul. They want to take their bones with them. Just in case.
The Physician (2013)
Frank: Couple of tips, don’t relax. Pretend you’re scared. She likes that.
Jody: I don’t have to pretend, though.
Frank: It’ll stretch, trust me. If God didn’t want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.
Shameless (2011–2014…) – Season 3, Episode 4: The Helpful Gallaghers